Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The "Talk" is Coming




I've been putting it off...for as long as possible but I think it is about time to sit down with my 9 year old and begin the "talk."

To aid me in how best to approach this, I ordered two books from Amazon.com.

First is the new book by Dannah Gresh, Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl. I participated with Dannah Gresh on her blog when we spent 30 days praying for our girls. This, for me, was a truly wonderful time of prayer petitioning the Lord on behalf our my daughters. Especially as I have one on the verge of tweenhood and a culture that glorifies sex.

I also ordered The Body Book by Nancy Rue (this was recommended by Dannah Gresh). From what I can gather, this a Christian version of the American Girl book. While my girls love American Girl, I would rather approach the puberty subject from as much of a Christian view as possible. This is going to be tough enough, I would so much rather face it as a God thing than a worldly view. I think it is so important for our girls to realize that this is how God designed our bodies to grow and even though society sometimes wants to make it taboo to touch, this is a part of God's plan.

It has been almost a year and a half since we did a "well" visit at the doctor's office. That means my almost 10 year old was then a newly turned 8 year old. The Pediatrician told me then to have the talk about puberty and sex with her. My husband and I discussed it and felt that 8 was a bit young to approach it yet and we would wait. Now, as she understands more and questions more, it is time to at least begin the conversation --- starting with puberty.

We have recently had to talk with all three kids about boundaries, especially when it comes to mom & dad's room :) For so long, the kids have felt that they can simply walk in our bedroom at any given time. Most of this comes from me normally leaving the door open so I could hear them. For years, I could only take a shower with the bedroom door open in case of a crisis, or I simply got no shower. I remember my (then) one year old pulling down our Christmas tree as I was preparing to go somewhere in my bathroom - but I heard the crash and was there in a split second. I had to give up some privacy or I would never be ready to go anywhere or do anything.

Now the kids are getting older and have made comments that told my husband and I boundaries need to be set when it comes to privacy. It just means the kids are growing up...and growing up quicker than I want. We have told them they have to stop walking in our bedroom. If the door is closed, we are getting changed or taking a shower and they don't need to see us changing or showering. This is a huge problem on Sunday mornings when we are getting ready for church, our bedroom is like Grand Central Station with one kid after another marching in - it makes it hard to get ready with privacy. But now it has to happen...they simply have to stop and respect that.

Yet God has given us this incredible blessing and in that comes the responsibility to accurately and lovingly teach them about how their bodies will be changing. I have seen more and more medical articles that states girls are now entering puberty a good two years earlier than previous generations. My fear lately has been that my 10 year old would start her period and be clueless as to what it was.

While I haven't seen any physical changes taking place, the time is getting close. I am waiting for the two books to arrive and read them to see where to begin. From what I understand, The Body Book is one we would read through together, but I'll know for sure more when the books arrive.

I will post my reviews of the two books later as well as how the talk goes. In the meantime, I would welcome any advice! Hopefully this uncomfortable subject will become more comfortable for us all and our girls (and boys) will know and understand God's great design for the human body and see His glory through all of His creation!


2 comments:

Kat Heckenbach said...

Can't wait for your reviews of the books. And maybe bring them to park or our writers meeting :).

tammi said...

Fun stuff. We did that with our girls this past summer. They're 8 and 6 and while they already knew how babies got out, they were starting to ask how they got IN!! So it was time. Because they're younger, we used the first two books in the God's Design for Sex series: The Story of Me and Before I Was Born.